“Pull the
trigger!” my mind screamed. Holding a pistol in my hand, I contemplated
suicide. At the last minute I changed my mind. As the gun was lowered
my finger accidentally squeezed the trigger. “BANG!” Fortunately,
it was pointed toward the floor. Here I was, fifteen years old, considering
to take my own life. Why? Let’s go back to the beginning.
Born and raised
on the plains of eastern Colorado, my family moved from our farm to
Hugo, Colorado (population 800) when I was eleven. At thirteen I found
a job at a filling station, where I was introduced to drinking beer.
Although a smoker, this was my first experience with alcohol. To me
it was a toy. A year later my “toy” had developed into a
regular habit of heavy drinking.
Later, influenced
by the war in Viet Nam, I decided to join the army at seventeen and
get killed in battle. I even wrote poems of my death and already had
the inscription for my tombstone written out. But at fifteen I became
impatient for death to come so that is when I decided to take my own
life.
Pretty shaken up
from that incident, I started drinking heavier. In November of 1970,
shortly after turning seventeen, I took a physical for enlistment into
the U.S. Army only to be turned down. That winter while working on an
oil plant construction job I met Mike. This 6'4” neatly dressed,
husky fellow was different from my usual companions, he was a real Christian.
He talked to me about Christ but I wasn’t ready to accept.
In March
of 1971 I was again taking a physical, this time for the U.S. Navy.
Discouragement engulfed me again as I was turned down for the second
and last time. Back home, I hit the booze heavier than ever before,
I even tried smoking marijuana several times, only to fall deeper into
my depressive state.
Desperate for peace
I prayed over and over again for two nights, but I still felt miserable.
At ten o'clock the next evening I listened for Mike's car. I was at
my grandmother's house and Mike lived just a few doors away in Limon,
Colorado. “I want to get saved!” I shouted to Mike before
he could get out of his car. He invited me into his house where he explained
to me how to become a Christian. That night I was born again.
Mike spent many
hours discipling me and as he did, my old habits began to disappear.
I quit smoking, drinking and cursing and replaced those habits with
Bible reading, fellowship and witnessing. At work my boss said I was
“glowing.” Attracted by the Jesus movement, I journeyed
to southern California. Here I learned of CHRISTIANS IN ACTION. I attended
an Action Night, a time when they go out soul winning, and was really
impressed by the way they presented Christ. In January of 1972 I enrolled
in their nine-month missionary training program.
The school majored
in the Bible. Stressed were New Testament church principles and soul
winning and disciple making. Also included were missionary principles,
the authority of the believer and others. A unique aspect of the training
was that it wasn't all theory, but application as well. Half a day was
spent in the classroom, while the other half was spent in the field
communicating Christ practicing what had been taught. Also, a growing
convert was required for graduation to insure that each student had
a working grasp of the material.
After graduation
I joined the Long Beach headquarters staff and waited on the Lord for
timing and direction to the mission field. In December of 1975, Becky
Eckblad and I were joined in marriage to form a missionary team.
Becky was born
in Minnesota and moved with her family to southern California when she
was a little girl. As a teenager Becky was a very cheerful and easygoing
person but still had a lack of peace with God. In her sophomore year
of high school she wrote the following in her "Philosophy of Life"
term paper. “...I believe in God, Christ, and the spirit but I
don’t believe in letting religion have a strong affect on my 1ife.”
Sometime later she attended a weeknight service at Calvary Chapel of
Costa Mesa, a church in southern California responsible for a large
part in the Jesus movement. At the service she heard unfamiliar terms
such as "born again”, "ask Jesus into your heart"
and “one way-Jesus.” Under deep conviction at the end of
the service, she turned her philosophy over to God and received Jesus
as her personal savior. In June of 1974 she entered the missionary training
course and graduated nine months later.
The greatest thing
in our lives have been our personal relationship with God through the
Lord Jesus Christ. If you don’t have the assurance that you are
His child please check out the following web site and learn more. http://www.KnowGod.org
