Foreword: For this particular theme, "No Regrets," I have
to give credit where credit is due. Ed Landry is a missionary to the
Philippines with Action International Ministries and last year was diagnosed
with leukemia. He was given just a few months to live. After many treatments
of chemotherapy and radiation Ed is still very much alive and still
ministering. Ed’s diagnosis came many months before mine and he
bravely chronicled his cancer journey via e-mail and public testimony,
which were forwarded to me. In fact, it was Ed’s courage and openness
that really prepared me for my own journey with cancer. Becky and I
had the privilege of having lunch with Ed and his wife, Janet, a couple
of months ago as they passed near our home. Ed was a young San Diego
fireman rising up the ranks when God called him to missions. He left
his career behind with the benefits package, which would have allowed
him to retire at age 55, and decided to follow God’s call in obedience
to serve as a missionary in the Philippines. Now after serving many
years as a missionary and in his mid-50s Ed shared with us over lunch
that day that he has "no regrets." Thanks Ed and Janet, for
continuing to inspire others through your lives. The following are my
thoughts on "no regrets."
I used to think that it was only when people got very old and tired
that they would reflect back on their lives and mull over their successes
and failures…and regrets. Indeed, I’ve met scores of folks
with such huge regrets that they could hardly live with themselves.
That is a tragedy. Now, at 48-years of age, with metastatic renal cell
cancer, a poor prognosis and death staring me in the face, I decided
to get an early start on this reflective process. I have come to the
following conclusion: I have no regrets.
Don’t get
me wrong, I know I have made mistakes, hurt people, and generally have
been a flawed human being. I am guilty of all those things and do regret
those mistakes, hurts, and flaws. Thank God that He freely forgives
us when we confess these things to Him. But in the major events of my
life I truly have no regrets.
1) I have no regrets
about placing my faith and trust in Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians
5:17 (KJV) "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:
old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
This happened on May 27th, 1971 on the plains of eastern Colorado, where
I was born and raised. By seventeen years of age, I was at the end of
my rope physically, spiritually and emotionally. I was a high school
dropout with long hair living the "good life" with parties,
fast cars, and a decent paying job. I had everything that people said
would make me happy but I was miserable. I even tried to join the military
to finish my education and find a new life for myself but I was rejected
twice. That threw me into even deeper despair.
That’s when
someone shared the Gospel (Good News) with me for the first time. At
the time I just wrote it off, associating it with the boring religious
training I received as a child. Besides, I had seen so much hypocrisy.
After all, some of the guys that got drunk with me on Saturday nights
were in confession the next day. If this was religion, I didn’t
want any part of it.
But a young man
named Mike Nachtigal showed me what biblical Christianity was: A personal
relationship with the Creator of the universe through the person of
His Son, Jesus Christ, who sacrificed Himself for my sins (I knew I
had lots of those) on the cross. Mike talked it, lived it, and breathed
it. Mike’s own transformation from a life of drug abuse illustrated
God’s power in a real way to me. When I surrendered to Christ
on that May evening 31 years ago, I knew I was a changed person and
never looked back. My sins were forgiven and the guilt and shame was
gone. Peace and joy replaced my deep depression.
Mike and his wife
spent hours and hours discipling this young man through Bible studies,
prayer and friendship before they moved away months later. Indeed, my
transformation was so great that I wanted to share it with everyone.
My old destructive habits began to fall away. My old drinking buddies
excluded me from their gatherings because I no longer desired to join
their parties except to share the good news with them. I was probably
a pest to everyone I came in contact with. But instead of wanting to
turn them on to drugs and alcohol, I wanted to turn them on to Jesus.
I have no regrets about exchanging the "good life" for the
"new life."
2) I have no regrets
about my life partner. Proverbs 5:18 (NIV) "May your fountain
be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth."
Becky is incredible and the most caring and giving person I have ever
met. I am so grateful to God for bringing us together almost 27 years
ago. I remember that day when I first laid eyes on her 28 years ago.
I thought she was very pretty but she was just another "sister"
in Christ. At the time I was already a staff member at Christians in
Action missionary headquarters in Long Beach, California. Becky was
a newly enrolled missionary trainee and no fraternizing was allowed
- so that was that.
Many months later
however, when she finished her training and our eyes were opened to
each other, we knew we had found our soul mates. We were married December
7, 1975. By the next month we were traveling together up the West Coast
raising prayer and financial support to go to the mission field. God
was so faithful to take care of us and meet our needs. That’s
another story. From the very beginning of our marriage we learned God’s
faithfulness in very tangible ways.
I thank God for
an adventurous wife who was not only willing, but also excited to go
touch the world for Christ in a foreign land. We arrived in East Asia
in July 1976 and got settled in Macau, South China for the next four
years. What a challenge. The people; the food; the smells; the language
and the culture were overwhelming at times but we had each other to
lean on and that proved to be the foundation of our marriage. This was
long before the days of e-mail communication so we wrote letters, wrote
letters, and wrote more letters to our friends, families, and supporters
back home. Since there was a 10-year wait for a residential phone line,
during that 4 years we called home twice, which meant getting up in
the middle of the night, going to the main post office and placing a
very expensive call through an operator. Yes, we missed our families
but we had each other and I will always treasure that.
By the time we
returned to California in 1980 where we would spend the next 16 years,
Becky and I were truly soul mates, best friends and every other description
that fits "the two shall become one." We had our first child,
Jeremy (1979), born in Hong Kong. Bryan came while we were back in Long
Beach (1981) and Kimberly joined us just after our move to Woodlake
in 1986. And then Becky stood with me in 1996 as we uprooted and moved
the entire family to the Philippines for two years of ministry there.
She has been a wonderful wife and mother to our children. She also has
a unique way of making any house feel like home through her extraordinary
decorating skills – often using garage-sale items. Although we
have always enjoyed each other’s company and just generally spending
time together, her love for me has truly been demonstrated during my
illness by her literally carrying out the vows we repeated to each other
so many years ago. "…in sickness and in health, until death
do us part." In every way, Becky has truly been a Proverbs 31:10-31
wife!
So while the institution
of marriage appears to be so fragile these days, it is possible, through
God’s grace, to truly have a lasting relationship with the person
of your dreams. Becky is still my sweetheart and I have no regrets.
Additionally, there
are no regrets that we brought three children into this world. I love
each one of them so much and am so proud of them and each of their accomplishments.
Each of their God-given personalities is so special and I treasure them.
Psalms 127:3a (KJV) "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD…"
3) I have no regrets
about my life work. I Corinthians 4:1- 2 (NIV) "Therefore,
since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.
Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception,
nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth
the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in
the sight of God."
As I look back
on my youth with my goals and dreams, which included geography and visiting
far-away lands, I must say until I became a Christian I was just sort
of stumbling through life. From the very beginning of my new found faith
I loved sharing Christ with others. This put me on the streets a lot
sharing with other needy young people.
During a Bible
study with Mike in those beginning days he brought a guest speaker,
a missionary named Dick. After seeing Dick with his short haircut and
his conservative clothes I decided I never wanted to be a missionary.
Too boring! Dick and his family were headed to the jungles of New Guinea
to translate the Bible into a tribal language and share the Gospel.
A few months later,
after a short move from rural eastern Colorado to Denver, this "farm
kid" found himself in southern California, enrolled in missionary
training program of Christians in Action. I called it "God’s
boot camp" for me. It was tough but my instructors were caring
and helped smooth out some rough edges in my life.
These last almost
30 years serving the Lord in various capacities and in various places
with Christians in Action has been so rewarding. Because we live on
"personal support," as opposed to a "salary," it
seems that we always lived on a shoestring budget. Our idea of taking
our kids out to eat was going to Taco Bell for 69-cent burritos with
water (no soft drinks!).
Things were always
tight financially but I can honestly say that God always provided what
we needed and Becky and I have no complaints. I have lots of stories
about His provision – another time. Even though God was always
faithful to provide, there were many times when I was tempted to leave
the ministry and get a "real job." Those were reactions to
temporary circumstances and not strategic guidance from God. It has
been so gratifying to look back at all those years and see God’s
hand on our ministry and our family. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t
want it any other way. The bottom line is that we are just ordinary
people obediently responding to His particular call on our life. I trust
that you too have responded to His particular call on your life, serving
Him where He has placed you, and that you can also say: "I have
no regrets."
Resting in Him,
Doug Sutherland
Obviously, God
has put each of us on different paths. But I’m sure that as you
examine your life and circumstances you can also attest to His faithfulness
in the events of your life. These are passages of scripture that have
meant a lot to us over the years.
I Peter 5:7
(NIV) Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Philippians
3:7-14 (NIV) But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the
sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared
to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose
sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain
Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that
comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness
that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power
of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings,
becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection
from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already
been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ
Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have
taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and
straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the
prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians
4:6 (NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer
and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the
peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts
and your minds in Christ Jesus.
