Dear Praying Friends,
It is Doug here
again at the keyboard. I thought the subject line might grab your attention.
Well, it has been over a month since my first urologist said I probably
had 6 months to live. These are simply the statistics that normally
accompany the rare disease called Metastatic Renal Cell Carcinoma.
Here it is the
eve of my consultation at USC/Norris Cancer Center in Los Angeles. We
will fight this thing with all we have. Although my ability to concentrate
is diminished, and then having shortness of breath and a general feeling
of fatigue, I’ve had things run through my mind that I’ve
wanted to commit to “paper”. These things generally are
clearest first thing in the morning as I read my Bible at my easy chair
over my one and only cup of coffee. Please bear with me in the following
“ramblings.”
Perhaps you wonder
what goes through the mind of an otherwise healthy 48-year-old man who
receives the ominous news he probably won’t see his 49th birthday.
To be absolutely honest, to some degree or another I’ve gone through
most of the emotions that accompany such news: shock; anger; denial;
despair, etc. These are all natural responses. Then there are the questions:
“Will I see Jeremy graduate from college (the first Sutherland
I know of to accomplish this)?” (He’s now a senior). “Will
I see that Registered Nurse pin placed on Becky?” (Two semesters
to go). “Will I see Bryan increase his rank in the U.S. Coast
Guard?” (He’s working his way up from Seaman Apprentice).
“Will I see Kim graduate from high school (now in 9th grade) and
eventually walk her down the aisle and give her away?” “Will
I be here to be a grandpa?” “Will I be a part of the Philippine
Medical Mission Outreach in 2003, 2004, etc?” These are heart
wrenching questions I don’t have answers for.
To be equally honest,
however, there are things I do have answers for: I know God’s
Word is true. I know that God loves me. I know He is faithful. I know
that I am being held by His arms of love, and that a great deal of the
time I have this wonderful sense of peace and assurance that my life
is in His hands, even though I don’t know what the future holds.
I also know that God loves my family (even more than I do) and that
He has their best interests in mind. I know that He is still a miracle
working God and is able to miraculously heal me apart from modern medicine.
(Many are praying to that end). I know that He is able to heal me through
modern medicine. I know that as Christians we are to glorify God and
that He sometimes uses adversity and suffering to accomplish His purposes.
I know that my life on earth (compared to eternity) is just a breath
and that it doesn’t matter whether I live to be 48 or 84, this
world is not my home.
His Word has become
even more precious in these days. “…I know whom I have
believed, and am convinced he is able to guard what I’ve entrusted
to him for that day.” (2 Tim. 1:12b NIV)
The Old Testament
Psalms have been of special consolation. It seems that I can identify
more with the writers than ever before. “Why are you downcast
O my soul? Why so disturbed in me? Put your hope in God, for I will
yet praise him, my savior and my God.” (Psalms 42:5 NIV) “Even
though I walk though the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear
no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me.”
(Psalms 23:4 NIV) “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation
comes from him. He alone is my rock and salvation; he is my fortress,
I will never be shaken.” (Psalms 62:1-2 NIV).
In closing, Becky
and I realize we are rich…rich with family and friends. We have
met so many people from all over the world throughout our ministry and
you have been so good to express your friendship in many ways over the
years but especially during this current trial. We have literally been
brought to tears many times by the cards, letters, e-mails, visits and
phone calls. I don’t know how to say thank you. What a joy to
be a part of the great, big family of God. A special thanks to the staff
of our mission family, Christians in Action and our church family at
Foothill Bible Church.
Thank you for allowing
me to ramble. If you are reading this today and you are not personally
acquainted with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I invite you to right
now to come to Christ in repentance, ask for forgiveness and dedicate
your life to Christ. You’ll never regret this decision.
In His Arms of
Love,
Doug Sutherland
