Dear Praying Friends,
We want to thank
you for your faithful prayers on our behalf. It is a tremendous comfort
to us. It has been over a year since my first urologist gave me about
six months to live. I’m still here by God’s grace. We’ve
been asking you to pray regarding the stem cell transplant and we finally
have some news to pass along.
The stem cell transplant
will not be taking place. After long and serious negotiation with the
UCSF (University of California San Francisco), our insurance gave a
final denial yesterday. It is considered experimental investigation
and would have cost in excess of one-half million dollars. You may think
this is disappointing and perhaps devastating to me, but I see this
as God’s leading and am at total peace on the issue. Nothing has
ever been out of God’s control. We simply see it as a closed door.
From the medical
perspective alone, this procedure was my one and only hope of possible
long-term survival, but it carried incredible risks. It was likely that
I would contract graft-versus-host disease, where my brother’s
immune system would turn against my good cells. This has vicious side
effects and is often fatal. The procedure would have taken place in
San Francisco (250 miles away) and I would have been separated from
Becky and Kim for about 4 months while in the hospital there and staying
in the Bay area for 100 days for follow-up care after being discharged
from the hospital. My quality of life while waiting the 5-6 months to
see if the transplant would even work or not would have been pretty
pitiful.
I am relieved in
many ways because I won’t be separated from my wife and daughter.
I’ll be in the comfort of my own home, surrounded by friends and
church family as I face the future - this gives me a lot of comfort.
What now? I will
update my diagnostic scans soon to determine the status of my disease,
but it realistic to say that tumor growth is continuing to take place.
I’m gauging that by the way I feel and the continued increase
in pain. I’ll be consulting with my oncologist on a few drugs
that I can take locally to possibly slow the tumor growth. I’ll
also continue researching the Internet for any new promising treatments
for metastatic kidney cancer. How do I feel? I’m tired most of
the time. My pain medication contributes to this. I usually have to
rest 5-7 hours during the day. I experience shortness of breath; sometimes
it’s worse than other times. Focus and concentration is an issue.
What used to be simple routine tasks seem to be major undertakings now,
such as writing this e-mail now. That’s why my “ramblings”
have ceased for the time being.
I hope to regain
some strength to somehow get into the office occasionally to assist
on the logistics of the upcoming Philippine medical mission and other
projects. My mission, Christians in Action, has given me 100% moral
support to pursue getting well and taking care of myself. I’m
so grateful for my mission family of the last almost 30 years.
I’m excited
about the future. I’m especially looking forward to Becky’s
graduation from registered nursing school on May 20. I’m so proud
of her achievements studying these last four years. She’s going
to be a great nurse. This secures her future in a solid career, whatever
the future holds for me. In fact, she has already been hired as a student
intern in the labor and delivery section at our local hospital, though
she can only work 1 day a week because of her study and clinical responsibilities
with the last semester of her training. This gives her a wide open door
into the very department she wanted to get into. I’m also looking
forward to seeing Bryan’s Coast Guard cutter arrive back safely
at his home port in Alameda, California after a 6-month deployment to
the Persian Gulf. With lots of tears, we watched him pull out January
4 and I want to see him pull back in sometime in July.
As a Christian,
I strongly believe it is the Lord and Him alone who determines when
my last breath is and I’m going to enjoy Him, my family and life
itself until that time comes, whether it is months or years. Without
any promising medical treatments, my life is totally in His hands and
I feel very secure in that. Whether it is an extended life or being
ushered into His presence soon, I’m a winner both ways.
Please pray the
Lord will continue to somehow use me to bless others. I don’t
get out much so don’t have too much contact with people. That’s
frustrating to me because I’m a people person and I love sharing
my story. In my spirit I want to write and speak in churches and to
groups about missions and God’s grace in the midst of suffering.
My body quickly reminds me I can’t do that.
Thank you from
the bottom of my heart for your faithful prayers. You have stuck with
us for the last year. We are grateful beyond words. My wife and children
(Jeremy, a new graduate of college and looking for a job in Portland,
Oregon; Bryan, away at sea serving our country; and Kim, a 16-year-old
with hopes and aspirations of her own) need your prayers – to
say this is “tough on them” is an understatement. Again,
thank you, and may you experience the deep abiding peace that only God
can provide during this New Year.
Secure in His Care,
Doug Sutherland
Proverbs 2:5
– 6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your
own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make
your paths straight.
Proverbs 5:21
For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his
paths.
